Why Am I Successful But Can’t Do the Little Things?

You’re successful. So why are the “easy” things so hard?

You can lead teams, ace exams, or run a household—yet the two-line email, the dentist appointment, the laundry pile, or that $37 bill sits untouched for weeks. From the outside, it’s baffling.

On the inside, it feels like shame, frustration, and fatigue.

This paradox is common among high performers with a history of trauma, chronic stress, or an over-activated sympathetic nervous system.

In short: your nervous system may be optimized for urgency and complexity—but not for slow, routine, or “boring” tasks.

It’s not a character flaw—it’s your (over)activated nervous system

The sympathetic nervous system (SNS)—your fight/flight mode—keeps you fast, focused, and ready under pressure. But when the SNS is chronically elevated (due to trauma, ongoing stress, or perfectionistic conditioning), your brain prioritizes survival and urgency over nuanced micro-tasks (McEwen, 2007; Arnsten, 2009).

In this state, your prefrontal cortex—the part involved in planning, working memory, task initiation, and inhibition—functions less efficiently (Arnsten, 2009; Liston et al., 2009). Translation: you know what to do, but can’t start, sequence, or finish the “little things” reliably.

Trauma reshapes attention, focus, and initiation

Trauma isn’t only about what happened—it’s about what your nervous system had to do to keep you safe. That adaptation often looks like:

• Hypervigilance and scanning for threat or urgency

• All-or-nothing productivity (overdrive on big goals, collapse on admin)

• Decision fatigue (micro-decisions feel disproportionately heavy)

• Emotional depletion (it takes energy to appear “fine”)

• Executive dysfunction: difficulty initiating, sequencing, or completing tasks (Aupperle et al., 2012)

Trauma is associated with altered function in the amygdala, medial prefrontal cortex, and hippocampus, all of which influence emotional regulation, attention, memory, and goal-directed behavior (Shin, Rauch, & Pitman, 2006).

Why the big things feel easier than the small ones

1) Threat > boredom

High-stakes tasks generate adrenaline and clarity; low-stakes tasks don’t. Your SNS “wakes up” for pressure—not paperwork.

2) Stress impairs the prefrontal cortex

Under chronic stress, prefrontal cortex connectivity and function are disrupted, impairing attention, working memory, and flexible problem solving (Arnsten, 2009; Liston et al., 2009).

3) Perfectionism as protection

If perfectionism once kept you safe or approved of, then “quick and messy” feels dangerous. Avoidance looks like procrastination, but it’s actually threat management.

4) No scaffolding = more internal load

Big projects come with deadlines, stakes, and accountability. Small tasks require self-generated structure, which is hard when your system is overtaxed.

5) Shame loops

“I’m successful—why can’t I do this basic thing?” → shame → avoidance → backlog → more shame. Shame further dysregulates the nervous system, perpetuating the loop.

Trauma, ADHD, or both?

Executive dysfunction can stem from ADHD, trauma, chronic stress, or their interaction. ADHD and PTSD share overlapping cognitive features (e.g., attention, working memory), but the drivers and treatments differ (Aupperle et al., 2012). A clinician trained in both trauma and ADHD can help you untangle what’s going on—and target the right interventions (therapy, skills training, medication, or all three).

What actually helps (hint: not “more willpower”)

1) Regulate first, then execute

Trying to function cognitively while your SNS is blaring is like typing during a fire alarm. Downshift the nervous system before you set out to accomplish a task.

Try:

• Exhale-elongated breathing (e.g., 4-count inhale, 6–8-count exhale) to recruit parasympathetic tone (Porges, 2007).

• Orientation: Slowly look around, name what you see. Tell your body it’s safe now.

• Physical movement to release tension, give adrenaline a place to go and regulate cortisol level (this could look as simple as 10-15 jumping jacks or air squats).

2) Micro-tasking with curiosity

Break tasks into 1 minute actions with a curios approach (open the bill → just see how much and when it’s due,→ how easy is it to schedule auto-pay?).

4) Externalize your system

Don’t store tasks in your head. Use a capture tool you actually trust—paper, Notion, a to-do app—consistency beats sophistication. Build if/then defaults: “If a bill arrives, it goes to Friday Admin Hour.”

6) Lower the bar to just start

“Open the email” = success. Momentum beats perfection. Use time boxing: 5-10 minutes, then stop if you want.

7) Therapy (and sometimes medication)

A trauma-informed therapist can help you re-establish safety, build executive function supports, and recalibrate identity around being not just performing. If ADHD is present, medication can be a nervous system equalizer.

When to reach out

Consider professional support if:

• Your backlog is creating financial, relational, or professional consequences

• You feel chronically wired, numb, or oscillating between both

• You recognize to both trauma and ADHD symptoms and want clarity

• You can perform under pressure but collapse on basic life maintenance

Final word: You’re not broken.

Your system adapted brilliantly to chronic stress, urgency, and high expectations. Of course it struggles with low-stakes, low-reward tasks. The work now isn’t to shame yourself into discipline—it’s to heal, regulate, and design compassionate systems which signal to your brain that little things are safe and doable.

Ready to regulate and rebuild your capacity?

I help high performers, parents, students, and leaders heal their nervous-system and allow it to operate in a more effective manner.

👉 Book an intake session
👉 Related read: Why Burnout Is So Costly for High Performers

References (Peer-Reviewed)

• Arnsten, A. F. T. (2009). Stress signalling pathways that impair prefrontal cortex structure and function. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 10(6), 410–422. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn2648

• Aupperle, R. L., Melrose, A. J., Stein, M. B., & Paulus, M. P. (2012). Executive function and PTSD: Disengaging from trauma. Neuropsychology Review, 22(4), 471–486. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11065-012-9222-5

• Goh, J., Pfeffer, J., & Zenios, S. A. (2016). The relationship between workplace stressors and mortality and health costs in the United States. Management Science, 62(2), 608–628. https://doi.org/10.1287/mnsc.2014.2115

• Liston, C., McEwen, B. S., & Casey, B. J. (2009). Psychosocial stress reversibly disrupts prefrontal processing and attentional control. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 106(3), 912–917. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.0807041106

• McEwen, B. S. (2007). Physiology and neurobiology of stress and adaptation: central role of the brain. Physiological Reviews, 87(3), 873–904. https://doi.org/10.1152/physrev.00041.2006

• Porges, S. W. (2007). The polyvagal perspective. Biological Psychology, 74(2), 116–143. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsycho.2006.06.009

• Shin, L. M., Rauch, S. L., & Pitman, R. K. (2006). Amygdala, medial prefrontal cortex, and hippocampal function in PTSD. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1071(1), 67–79. https://doi.org/10.1196/annals.1364.007